When someone you love is going through IVF, it can be hard to know what to say. You want them to know you're there, but you're scared of saying the wrong thing. The good news is that a card doesn't need to fix anything. It just needs to tell them they're not doing this alone.

Here are some wording ideas for every stage of the IVF journey, plus a few things best left unsaid.

A few things to keep in mind

• Keep it about them. Skip stories about your cousin who got pregnant the moment she stopped trying.
• Don't ask for updates. Let them share when they're ready. "No need to reply" is a gift.
• It's fine to say it's rubbish. Acknowledging how hard it is often means more than forced positivity.

When they're starting treatment

• "Thinking of you as you start this next chapter. You're braver than you know, and I'm right here cheering you on."
• "Sending you all the strength, all the hope and an unreasonable amount of snacks. Love you."
• "Whatever you need, whenever you need it. A chat, a cuppa or a distraction, just say the word."

During injections and egg collection

• "To the bravest pin cushion I know. You're doing amazing."
• "Sending love to you and your ovaries. Rest up, you've earned it."
• "I can't make the injections hurt less, but I can bring cake. Name the day."

For the two-week wait

The two-week wait is famously hard. Distraction and gentle support work better than predictions.

• "No questions, no pressure, just love. I'm here if you want to talk, and here if you don't."
• "Sending positive vibes and a very long box set recommendation."
• "Whatever happens, you are loved and you are not on your own."

When the news is good

• "I'm so happy I could burst. You deserve every bit of this joy."
• "After everything you've been through, this is the best news. Sending all my love to you and your little one."

When the news is hard

If a cycle hasn't worked, keep it simple and sincere. There's no need to look for a silver lining.

• "I'm so sorry. There are no right words, but I love you and I'm here."
• "Thinking of you today and every day. Take all the time you need."
• "You don't have to be strong for anyone. I'm holding you in my heart."

What to avoid writing

• "Just relax and it'll happen."
• "Everything happens for a reason."
• "At least you can try again."
• "Have you thought about adopting?"

Laura designs cards for every part of the fertility journey, from cheeky ones for injection week to gentle thinking of you cards for the harder days. Browse our IVF and fertility cards, personalise the inside and we'll post it to you or straight to them.